Dad found the Steiners in the fridge
guarding half a pepperoni pizza.
I told him Repo Man was loose
and somebody had to watch the leftovers.
Mom asked why Rick Martel
was sleeping in the living room.
Because Tito Santana was in my bedroom,
and some wounds don't heal with bedtime.
There were Hasbros everywhere.
IRS audited my piggy bank
while Million Dollar Man bought the couch.
Boss Man patrolled the hallway.
The Mountie disputed his jurisdiction.
Earthquake and Typhoon wrecked the bathtub.
Brutus Beefcake cut nobody's hair.
Mr. Perfect never lost.
Hacksaw Duggan yelled at the vacuum cleaner.
Shawn Michaels kicked Marty through a shoebox.
Piper fought Flair behind the television.
Doink lived somewhere under my bed
and even I wasn't checking after dark.
Mom stepped on Macho Man once
and cut a promo the neighbors probably heard.
There were Hasbros everywhere,
a whole loud plastic world
my parents kept finding under their feet.
Then childhood did what childhood does:
rang the bell when nobody was watching.
One day the house got quiet.
Nobody asked why the Steiners were in the fridge.
Nobody needed them
to guard the pizza anymore.
Last seen somewhere behind the arena with an uncapped Sharpie, hailing from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma…
Pushcart nominee, Bridport Bursary winner, author of The Least Weird Person Awake, and veteran of more literary matches than his knees recommend…
He survived Hasbros on the floor, blood feuds gone wrong, and enough questionable booking to know the show must go on.
Still refusing to do the job…
THE LAST BARD—
JOSHUA WALKER!
Joshua Walker is an independent poet whose work blends formal craft with raw emotional intensity. His poems have appeared in Potomac Review, SoFloPoJo, Solarpunk, and numerous other literary journals. With over 310,000 followers across social media, Joshua’s voice bridges traditional and contemporary poetics, weaving sharp imagery with musicality and wit. He explores themes of resilience, identity, and human complexity, always attuned to the tension between line and sentence.
